The Gift of Creation

A bit of wisdom I’ve found lately is stunningly simple- when you feel helpless or hopeless, make something.

Sitting by my computer as I write is a glass of my latest batch of mead. Making honey wine is the one hobby I have that I swore up and down that I would never ever ever try to make a buck off of. Baking and writing went that way, rapidly turned into work or the job, and to an extent I lost a lot of what made them enjoyable as hobbies in the first place. Meadmaking is my excuse to create for the sake of creation- putting something into the world that didn’t exist before that I can take joy in creating, finishing, and then sharing.

A time-consuming but delightful and cost-effective method to acquire booze for home and gift-giving… making it yourself.
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“Earning” Your Rocking Chair- Becoming the Old Man I Want to Be

Whimsy isn’t something you have to earn- it’s something you possess and cultivate, and if you are drawn in a direction out of whimsy and authenticity you are too lucky to ignore it. That’s the kind of thing that shows you who you are meant to be.

At the bottom of the hill where my winery is located, there’s a little bar in a shopping plaza. They have decent beers and a few hard liquors to choose from, but they’re really more of a taproom than a full bar. All the same, they are the semi-official post-shift watering hole for cooks, servers, and occasionally office people in the winery. We’re all regulars by face if not by name.

When the beer offerings aren’t tempting me after a long day, I tend to go with whiskey. They have a few pricier bottles to pick from and their cheapest bottles I’d call “middle shelf-” whiskey’s that would be in the $30-$50 range if I got one for myself. Better than rotgut and bottom-shelf well whiskey, but not as speedy as ultra-premium brands. If I’m not feeling like Jameson’s “Black Barrel” expression or one of the slightly spendy local whiskeys, the Old Forester “Bottled-in-Bond” is a reliable choice with a couple small rocks in it.

It was an evening after a rough day. I got my little glass, sat down at a table outside facing in to the parking lot and up the hill, and decided to update the family that it was in fact That Kind Of Day.

My father sent back his approval. Old Forester was your grandfather’s favorite. There was always a bottle in your grandmothers den.”

I stared at the little glass and thought to myself, “Finally, after 40 years, I’m turning into an Old Man.”

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The Rites of the Sanctuary

There are times when I walk into the winery kitchen in the morning, punch in, get to my bench, and my ritual feels a bit like rehearsing into a mirror in public. It’s for no one’s benefit but mine, and others either don’t care or pretend not to see and be curious. It’s still important because beyond the centering, grounding aspects of the act, it’s how I belong to myself.

The routine of the morning grows ignominiously but slowly. I come in, punch in, put my stuff down on the bench and decide what needs to be out and what needs to be in the locker. Going over the prep sheet and whiteboard is next. If something fucked up after I left the day before (or will fuck up without my immediate intervention,) that’s where I’ll find it. Make a plan for the day, then the coffee I’ll never drink. Check the covers for the day, then back to the office for emails on what amounts to the professional version of gossip. Very little of it has anything to do with me or requires my attention yet, and if things got really bad on the pastry station, that’s how I’ll find out.

Back to the kitchen. Temperature logs handed down by the higher-ups, then my ritual and work begins.

I put on my coat, check my tools, scale the first recipe, and consecrate what is still My Place in this world- laboratory, dojo, and sanctuary.

Animated GIF from Disney’ “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” showing Quasimodo defiantly lifting Esmeralda’s unconscious body while yelling “Sanctuary” at the city.
Not quite like that, but still an epic moment in the movie.
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Overdue Epilogues

CW: Discussion of health, weight, body image, diet

A few years back, I wrote a book- my first book, in fact– about losing weight and getting in shape. I used my own story, half-baked methods, understanding and experience to explain just how I did it. For the time, it was all good advice. What I failed to mention, however, is what can happen when your health, your brain, and forces your can’t hope to control take your feet out from under you.

It’s easy and glib to say “Keep trying, don’t give up, tomorrow’s another day” and the rest. It’s true as well, but it’s not the whole truth. Life comes at you fast.

Consider this post and a few others before, then, as something like an epilogue to “Blood, Sweat, and Butter.” Marie Kondo famously recanted some of her tidiness dictums because she realized that they aren’t possible for someone with kids, like she became after writing her books. I’m not necessarily recanting anything I wrote… but I’m definitely throwing up a few asterisks.

The front cover of "Blood, Sweat, and Butter- Getting Fit on a Cook's Schedule (and Paycheck)
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Gaps in the Armor

The right food at the right time can give you nearly everything you need. In my case, I was back at the Beer Bus and had just pounded a tuna burrito from Saint Burrito. The balled-up tinfoil and a stained napkin were being held down by what remains of my beer.

I had just come out of the gym and needed a late lunch/ refuel. Protein, carbs, a bit less fat than your normal burrito, and 5% alcohol to help soothe the muscles. Beer doesn’t get enough credit as a post-workout beverage if it’s consumed within reason. John L. Sullivan, the legendary “knock out king” of 19th Century Boston, had an equally legendary drinking problem. All his work and fighting couldn’t keep his daily Kidney Pickling from turning his muscles slack and flabby. “Moderation in everything, including Moderation,” says verbal knock-out king Oscar Wilde.

A suit of armor on a black-gray vignette background
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