Hello, everyone.

My name is Matt. I am a Jewish-American baker, writer, and raconteur. I love food, beer, whiskey, mead and meadmaking, the taste and smell of good pipe tobacco, talking to strangers, and telling stories.

If you are in Beaverton today, you might see a guy in an Irish sweater with a copper-shod walking stick, a tweed hat, and a long tan cloak sitting at a bar with a pint of dark beer, typing on an iPad disguised as a very beaten-up composition notebook.

There is a lot of darkness and sorrow in the world right now. I’m keenly aware of it- too keenly, maybe, according to my therapist who’s been reminding me to keep off of social media. I’ll probably write something later summing up my personal attitudes about it all, but I’ll just as likely keep that to myself. The world is not short of opinions right now.

It’s also not short of doomsaying, chest-beating, and heartstring-wringing. There’s plenty of people who will take it upon themselves to remind us of all the horror in the world, and that’s a good thing. We can’t go about with our heads in the sand, pretending the problems of others aren’t our concern and then getting indignant when “no one did anything” when they become our concern.

What goes too far is when these good-intentioned messengers take it upon themselves to berate others or themselves for finding joy where they can. “With so much suffering and pain in this world, how dare anyone be happy?! Don’t you care?!”

There are plenty of who don’t or are ignorant of the plight of others, to be sure- but so many of us do. Here’s the truth though: Denying yourself joy and happiness does nothing to help others, and it weakens YOUR resolve to endure.

“There Is No Misery Olympics”

I use this phrase whenever someone tries to compare one person or groups suffering to others in an attempt to minimalize one of them. “Yeah, losing your job stinks, but at least you’re not in a war zone,” etc. That kind of statement.

There is now and always will be plenty of pain and suffering in this world. Therefore, in my opinion, there is always at least that much mercy and compassion to relieve it.

Should we keep a sense of perspective and avoid hyperbole and dramatics? Absolutely- but there is always going to be someone who “has it worse.” There is no one single person on Earth who has it the absolute worst and they are the only one entitled to pity.

We are not saints. We are not bodhisattvas. We are limited- so is our reach, our influence, and our knowledge. We cannot endlessly pour ourselves out in grief for everything going on all the time forever.

“When You Are Grateful For What You Have…”

We need chances to breathe. We need to be able to inhale so that we can then exhale all the things we want to see done in this world. We cannot insist and demand on humanity and joy for all while denying our own and for ourselves.

“Escapism” in this instance sounds coarse. Instead, think of it as “recharging” and “coming up for air.” Putting it more pointedly is the advice I was given as an EMT when discussing personal safety- “No one needs a dead hero. You become one more person who needs saving.”

How, then, do we square going to game nights, listening to our favorite music, or having a quiet holiday in with our loved ones when we know there are others who can’t?

We do it with that knowledge, and we enjoy it to its fullest because there are those who can’t- and that love, joy, and release allows us to work toward those things for others.

Dr. Brene Brown, in her book Braving The Wilderness, gives this very advice toward the end for how we are able to endure the feelings of non-belonging that comes from standing up for ourselves. In her research, she interviewed people whom we’d argue would definitely get a medal in the Misery Olympics- abuse survivors, minorities, victims of hate-crimes, survivors of genocide. When asked about the empathy of others, they were united in this sentiment:

“When you appreciate and are grateful for all that you have, I know you can appreciate all that I have lost.”

So take a breath. See and be with your loved ones. Love them, hold them close and tight. Pet your cat. Play your favorite games, watch your favorite movies, eat food out and be cozy. Do it BECAUSE others can’t… and when you are ready, go out and do something about it.

Don’t pull others down because they are trying to find a little spark of joy and peace in a darkened world.

Stay Classy,