What does it mean to be present? Not just physically but mentally? Spiritually? It doesn’t just mean being in a particular place, like during roll call at school. For yourself in your own life, no one’s checking off an attendance list.

We owe it to ourselves to stay present and keep ourselves aware of just who, what, and where we are if we want to live not just good lives but deliberate ones.

Some months ago, a friend of mine was relating how they- being neurodivergent themselves- were trying to explain self-care and self-ownership to someone who was just diagnosed with a mental illness.

“There’s plenty of tools you can use to monitor and manage yourself,” they said, “but you have to build your toolbox yourself. No one can do it for you- not even a therapist. They can only guide and help.”

Ain’t that the truth. I know how much I write about how I reflect on and manage my own mental health- meditation, exercise, navel-gazing and so on- but the truth is these are all ideas. Techniques. They won’t work the same for everyone, and ultimately a lot of what I write about here are blueprints for the tools you may find useful yourself, once you make them fit your unique needs.

Let’s be real folks- applying East Asian philosophy and logotherapy based on a tabletop RPG version of a Shaolin Buddhist monk to a career in baking won’t 100% click with all my readers- but maybe it will give some ideas to folks that need it and give them permission to get curious and maybe even playful when it comes to managing their mental health journeys.

With that in mind, what does it mean to be present?

Presence, in terms of mental state, means that your mind and thoughts are neither worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. Instead, your mind is present IN the Present, appreciating and absorbing what happens moment by moment and letting it pass just as quickly. It’s part of being in flow state– there is now past, no future, just the endless and infinite NOW.

A common technique for handling anxiety and panic attacks is based on this idea and is called grounding- derailing the anxious spiral by forcing the mind to focus on aspects of the the Present through the senses:

Some typical grounding exercises are:

• Name five colors you can see right now.
• Close your eyes and listen to your surroundings. Focus on the farthest sound you can hear, and slowly move closer.
• Focus on the feel of the floor against your feet, the weight of your body on your chair, or the feel of your clothing and the air on your skin.
• Box Breathing to focus on the breath and control hyperventilation

Fun fact- the reason so many meditation technique focus on one’s breath isn’t just because of the idea of energy exchange or chi. It’s because it’s impossible to breathe anywhere but in the present moment.

I use these exercises a lot when I meditate or I catch myself in rumination. “You’re ruminating Matt, come on back. Where are you right now? What do you see? What do you smell?”

You might imagine this is especially useful and enjoyable when I am walking or running, because the answer is almost always trees, flowers, and breezes in the park.

Back when I was coming upon my “Way of the Floured Hand,” I realized there were plenty of pleasant things I could ground myself with in the Bakeshop when my tired brain started ruminating or giving in to bitterness and grievance. Little distractions that let me find my way back into flow.

• The smell and feel of fresh dough.
• The motion back and forth under the sheeter.
• The color of the berries in a filling
• The “white noise” of a busy kitchen (especially good- when you have anxiety, in completely silent spaces your brain will be deafening when it’s tired or stressed.)

As I let myself pay attention to these simple experiences- grounded, real, and present truths- I could remember to breathe slowly and enjoy the moment, trusting my hands to move without my brain belaboring the process.

So here’s an idea: next time you find yourself overwhelmed or stressed out, take five minutes and try out those grounding exercises. Pull yourself back from the past (which you can’t change) and the future (which doesn’t exist yet) into the only thing you will ever truly know or be able to affect- the endless “Now.”

See what happens, and see if you don’t find yourself approaching life with a little more deliberation and joy.

Stay Classy,