How to Cook for a Cook

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

One of the great joys in my life is dining with friends- whether cooking or being served. Very often, however, I find myself in a curious situation:

“I was so nervous making this for you, since you’re a chef and all…”
“Oh, I bet you could do it better….”

Other pro cooks and chefs I know have met with the same thing, serious and in jest.
I get it. I really do. Today’s pop culture has cranked up the image of the “celebrity chef” to 11, and whenever someone personally knows a chef, they immediately have clips of “Chopped” or “America’s Next Top Chef” running through their mind- an excoriating review of their works with sharp jokes, pointed criticism, and bitter rejection.

Anthony Bourdain, in one of his various interviews, answered this situation and others like with what he called the “Grandma’s Turkey Rule.” The allegory is as follows:

Your grandmother doesn’t cook very much, but when she does, it’s her Thanksgiving turkey- and it’s HORRIBLE. It’s dry. It’s under-seasoned. It’s over-salted. The gravy is brown water with lumps of starch floating in it like the memories of lost childhood dreams.
She’s proud of it, and she makes it once a year, for the family she loves.
Thanksgiving comes around, and you sit down and get served shingles of that wretched affront to the poultry world. What do you do?

According to Anthony Bourdain, you choke it down, smile, say thank you very much and ask for seconds.
This is the “Grandma’s Turkey Rule”- respect for authentic hospitality. Just as it’s important to be a gracious host, it is vital to be a gracious guest as well. Unless it is truly against your religion, or a medical reason keeping you from tucking in to what you’re served in someone’s house, you smile and eat.

People of the world, you are cooking. 
You are cooking for US. 
It is food you are giving us from the kindness of your heart, and that you have theoretically worked very hard on. 
We will say thank you, and we will MEAN IT.  

This is not a TV show. It is not a professional kitchen, and we are not at work.
We will simply be grateful that we are being fed.

Stay Classy,

BHB

An AMA with the BHB

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

So today, I decided to try something new. Tonight’s blog entry would be all about you guys, and your questions! To that end, I hopped on Reddit and spent all evening doing an AMA (Ask Me Anything!)

Here’s some of the best questions and answers that came out:

Hi! I’m an amateur baker myself, although I’ve not had loads of experience with pastry beyond the usual shortcrust and pâte sucrée, so I’m planning on doing a few recipes with puff pastry at some point soon. Basically, do you have any tips for making decent puff pastry? –ManicMetalhead

The best tip I can think of for making puff pastry is keeping your butter as cold as possible, only letting it get as warm as strictly necessary. Puff pastry gets its flaky layers from the ultra-thin layers of butter melting during baking and creating cavities in the dough. If it’s too warm, the butter will melt early, and you’ll get greasy pastry. I’m also guessing you’re talking about classic French puff pastry. If you’re really dedicated to making it by hand (without the use of a rolling machine or sheeter), your arms will want to fall off after the first few turns! There are other formulas for “rough” puff pastry that are just as tasty and don’t require the hellish amount of rolling pin work.

Best book(s) for baking amateurs? – Senorpapagirgio

Several! I heartily recommend the classic “Joy of Cooking” and “Joy of Baking” books. They are indespensible resources for basic recipes and skills. After that, I would recommend “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” by Julia Child, “Professional Baking” by Wayne Gisslen, and “How Baking Works” by Paula Figoni for mastering and understanding the chemistry aspects. After those, recipe books for your favorite cuisines! Good luck!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?– Punkdoctor1000
Baking!

Seriously though, I still see myself running the Black Hat Bakery, likely as a mobile establishment but possibly as a brick and mortar if the opportunity presents. I see myself providing cookies, pies, and tarts directly to the customers who need them.

I also frankly see myself being wide awake and caffeine-addled at 3am, but that comes with the territory.

Hi Matt. I just wanted to vouch that you’re an awesome baker, and an even awesomer person. (That’s a word.) I’ve known Matt since he was a kid, and he baked an awesome cake for my daughter’s birthday.

My question is: with your amazing success at weight loss, do you find it hard to work around food all the time?– Tiredmom14
Awww thank you! The fact is, I really don’t. After spending so much time around sweets, you truly don’t want any at the end of the day. I almost always crave meat and veggies for dinner-MAYBE with something sweet after.

What’s your favorite “secret” recipe? –NorbitGorbit

My favorite “secret” recipe might be my dad’s meatloaf. Unless you’re a member of the family, you can’t make it exactly right.

Thanks everyone who asked questions for the great night! If you’ve got any questions, leave them in the comments, or get in touch through Facebook or tweet me @BlackHatBakery!

Stay Classy,

Music To Bake By

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

     This week has been rather a stressful and hectic one, and seeing as how my last several entries were all rather serious or somber, I thought it was high time for a little more levity in this blog. Therefore, please enjoy-

My Favorite Baking Tunes

     Who doesn’t like bopping around the kitchen to the right music when they’re in the mood? This is by no means a comprehensive list, just some of my favorite tunes and why.
Feel free to send me yours, or share them in the comments! There’s always more room in my bakery playlist!


Candyman (Christina Aguilera)
Because men can cook, and be dead sexy doing it! Love the popping, vintage feel of this song.

Rodeo- Hoedown (Aaron Copland)
“Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.”

Hoochie Coochie Man (Joe K K and Zydeco Force)
I loved visiting New Orleans many years ago, and part of it (besides the food!) was the wild, earthy madness of zydeco music. Perfect song when you’re really feeling the baking mojo, and you feel more like a witch doctor than a baker.

Mambo Italiano (Renato Carosone)
Just something about this song makes you want to whirl around the kitchen, flip things in pans, and toss pizza in the air.

Fuel (Metallica)
Sometimes you want to be calm, serene, and careful. Sometimes you want to light things on fire and rock out over the stove.

Pump It Up (Elvis Costello)
Another song for when you’re feeling the groove of your work, and everything is just in the zone. You’re another Freak in the Freak Kingdom…

Captain Kelly’s Kitchen (Dropkick Murphys)
Does this even NEED explaining?

It’s Tricky (Run DMC)
Hey, it is sometimes!

Felt Good On My Lips (Tim McGraw)
There is a storied relationship between music, love, and food. Why not celebrate country-style?

Louie Louie (The Kingsmen)
Because why the hell not?!

Song of the South (Alabama) and My Front Porch Looking In (Lonestar)
A kitchen is the heart of the house- it’s where the family comes together and eats. Why not music that reminds you of being home?

I Will Play for Gumbo and Fruitcakes (Jimmy Buffett)
They say, “Write about what you know.” That’s Jimmy Buffett in a nutshell. 

A couple honorable mentions as well…

(If I Knew You Were Comin’) I’d’ve Baked A Cake (Ethel Merman)
Tell me you didn’t expect THIS one…

Fighting 17th (Hans Zimmer)
Some of you may be confused why the theme from the movie “Backdraft” is here. Those who recognize it though… 
Picture

“Allez Cuisine!”

That’s about all for right now. What are your favorite baking songs? Cooking songs? Just songs for being the kitchen? Let me know!

Stay Classy,

No Apologies

     Good evening, friends and neighbors!

     Today, I was telling one of my coworkers about The Splendid Table, a radio broadcast/podcast about food and cooking that I enjoy listening to. Recently, they had done a segment on designing professional kitchens and the relationship between the chef, the business, and the space itself.
     As I was talking, my coworker (herself with 30+ years in the business) and my boss started smirking and cut me off, saying “It’s so cute that you still actually like listening to that stuff! Just wait- in a few years, you’ll HATE hearing about food anytime you don’t have to.”
My boss laughed, “Yep- I’d give him six years and he’ll be looking for a new field to work in…”
My coworker: “Pfft- ONE year!”

   Obviously I was hurt, and it made me pretty damned angry. Here were my superiors in this job- charged with teaching me, training me, and guiding me- spitting on the passion and enjoyment of the food world that had brought me to this field in the first place, in an infuriatingly patronizing manner, and simultaneously DOUBTING my passion for the field.

    Folks, not every one of my posts has a take-home lesson. I really try not to be that preachy, but if there is a lesson here, it is as follows:

DON’T DO THIS.

     No matter what you do with yourself in life, there is more to success than passion. It takes hard work. It takes the ability to adapt, to learn, and re-apply. It takes imagination, fearlessness, and conviction. 

Deep at the core, though- powering everything, sustaining you when everything else fails, and guiding you when all else is lost- is your passion.
That’s the part of you that won’t LET you quit, won’t LET you accept the unacceptable.
It’s the part of you that, rather than getting discouraged, tells you to Fail Faster.

It’s the part of you that helps you give body and shape to your dreams.

It’s the part of you that will not allow you to lay down and die.

You should absolutely listen to advice and guidance. Time does often come with experience, which frequently (though not always) comes with wisdom.
My boss and coworker are both very experienced people.

There are other experienced people I have talked to though. They’ve told me
“Don’t let yourself get old.”

“Don’t lose your passion.”

“When you want to quit, don’t forget why you started.”

It’s important to learn what you can from everyone you meet- and it’s just as important to learn to figure out when they are teaching you bull****.

There is a fire in the eyes of the passionate. Whether it’s music, food, poetry, science, architecture, or whatever- when you give someone the chance to talk about their passion and to learn more about it, it is almost as if all the lights go on in their heads and their souls seem to glow.

Do not belittle anyone else’s passion, and don’t you dare apologize for your own.
I have no intent on doing so.

Stay Classy,

Kitchen Zen

     Good evening, friends and neighbors! This has been a busy last few weeks- there is a new menu on the website, and soon I will be adding a feedback page, where you can review your experiences with the Black Hat Bakery! Enjoyed a cake I made for you? Like what you read here? Soon, you’ll be able to tell me- and everyone else- easily! Keep an eye out!

    A while back, I assembled a basic booklist that every cook, culinary student, or pastry chef should have in their kitchen. You can find that list here, and I’m certain there will be more additions soon. Today, I began reading what might be the briefest, but most enlightening, entry on that list.

“From ancient times communities of the practice of the Way of Awake Awareness have had six office holders who, as disciples of the Buddha, guide the activities of Awakening the community. Amongst these, the tenzo bears the responsibility of caring for the community’s meals. The Zen Monastic Standards states, “The tenzo functions as the one who makes offerings with reverence to the monks.”

     So begins an essay written in 1247 by a Zen Buddhist monk named Dogen, entitled “Instructions to the Cook.” In Zen monasteries, the tenzo (cook) was not a low-level position, or one that the young and inexperienced were saddled with. The cook was one of the six administrators of the monastery, and was generally an older, accomplished monk with great clarity, serenity, and wisdom.

     “The tenzo handles all food with respect, as if it were for the emperor; both cooked and uncooked food should be cared for in this way.” 

      “Do not just leave washing the rice or preparing the vegetables to others but use your own hands, your own eyes, your own sincerity. Do not fragment your attention but see what each moment calls for; if you take care of just one thing then you will be careless of the other.” 

 Excerpt From: Dogen, Eihei. “Tenzo Kyokun.” Feedbooks, 1237. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright.

     As I read further into the text, I realized- what is this but mise en place? Respect for your art, for your tools, and your ingredients- common sense things that would be reiterated by such luminaries as Carême and Escoffier over 500 years later?

     “Taking up a vegetable leaf manifests the Buddha’s sixteen-foot golden body; take up the sixteen-foot golden body and display it as a vegetable leaf. This is the power of functioning freely as the awakening activity which benefits all beings.” 

    “Having prepared the food, put everything where it belongs. Do not miss any detail.”

     In Dogen’s view, the work of the cook was vital in a way beyond the obvious need for edible food. Throughout the day, the monks may meet for prayer, or lecture, or meditation. Meal times, however, are the most absolutely primal moments when a community IS a community- and the cooks job was to foster and provide for these moments. 
     By applying the mindfulness and awareness they were learning and practicing at the monastery, the tenzo could not only feed his community well- through his work, he could find enlightenment, and share it with others. 
     In addition to the rules and concerns he lays down, Dogen offers several stories- humorous and humbling- that illustrate the relationship between food and spirituality.

“When I was staying at Tiantong-jingde-si, a monk named Lu from Qingyuan fu held the post of tenzo. Once, following the noon meal I was walking along the eastern covered walkway towards a sub-temple called Chaoran Hut when I came upon him in front of the Buddha Hall drying mushrooms in the sun. He had a bamboo stick in his hand and no hat covering his head. The heat of the sun was blazing on the paving stones. It looked very painful; his back was bent like a bow and his eyebrows were as white as the feathers of a crane. I went up to the tenzo and asked, “How long have you been a monk?” 

 “Sixty-eight years,” he said. 

“Why don’t you have an assistant do this for you?” 

“Other people are not me.” 

 “Venerable sir, I can see how you follow the Way through your work. But still, why do this now when the sun is so hot?” 

 “If not now, when?” 

 There was nothing else to say. As I continued on my way along the eastern corridor I was moved by how important the work of the tenzo is.” 

 Excerpt From: Dogen, Eihei. “Tenzo Kyokun.” Feedbooks, 1237. iBooks. This material may be protected by copyright.

     There are also bits of wisdom that echo of others, far separated by place, time, and culture.

“A rich buttery soup is not better as such than a broth of wild herbs. In handling and preparing wild herbs, do so as you would the ingredients for a rich feast, wholeheartedly, sincerely, clearly.” – Dogen, “Instructions to the Cook”

 “Better a meal of herbs where there is love, than a fatted calf where there is hatred.” – The Bible, Proverbs 15:17

     Food truly is a universal experience- as is its connection to spirituality.

     One final little koan for you all- my personal favorite:

     “A man once came before the Buddha and asked, ‘Tell me something that transcends all knowledge, all the wisdom of the ancients and the sages across time.’      The Buddha smiled and said, “Sesame flatbread.”

Stay Classy,