Over The Edge

Good evening, friends and neighbors.

There is a strain of sub-culture that is common to almost every physical field of work- masochism and martyrdom.

When I was an EMT, it was common to hear the older guys compare stories of calls they’d been on- heroic things they’d done, crazy stuff they’ve seen, and so on. Even more common were stories of injuries.

“… shredded the tendons in this elbow.”
“… ripped apart both knees.”
“… my back sounded like popcorn.”


And so on- folks comparing and bragging about “cutting their teeth”, “taking their lumps.” Physical proof of their toughness, and that they’d been there, done that.

The culinary world is no different, and even a little darker- just because of the people who find themselves there.
Let’s face it- the culinary world has always had its arms open to the freaks, misfits, rebels, and weirdos. If you’ve got passion, it doesn’t matter if it’s a healthy love or a full-blown psychosis- just point it at the food, and try not to kill anyone.

After college (and earning a few lumps as an EMT,) I finally focused on my passion for food. I had already been indoctrinating myself in the lives and works of chefs like Anthony Bourdain and Marco Pierre White.

These were the rockstars of my little world. They were famous. They did what they loved, and screw the naysayers.
They were misfits and rebels, like me.

I’m fairly certain I’m not psychotic, but I would definitely say I’m a good fit for cooking. In school, I was picked on. I was chubby, had a stutter, read a lot, played NO sports, and I had braces AND glasses. After finding my tribe (music geeks, nerds, and artists) in high school and college, I took pride in my misfit status- and I wanted to let it shine.

Not just shine. I wanted to wear it like a badge.
I wanted to transform it into a tank, and smash through everything and everyone that made me feel worthless before.
I wanted to rub it in the face of the whole world and yell, “SEE THIS?! YOU SEE THIS S**T?! THIS IS WHO I AM, MOTHERF***ERS, SO BITE ME!”

Very few of my classmates in culinary school HADN’T read Bourdain’s “Kitchen Confidential” and drank in every grungy drop of it. Wanton sex on dumpsters during service. Walking into a new job and finding your staff assembling guns in the walk-in. Mid- and post-shift drinking, and drugs drugs drugs drugs drugs to make Hunter S. Thompson look like a choir boy.

A rockstar lifestyle, with gourmet food.

As soon as I joined the professional culinary world, though, I saw the pattern- the same I’d seen as an EMT. People showing off their scars from wayward knives, burns from hot sheet pans and oil splashes. Stories of friends (or even themselves) succumbing to the stress of the life and burning out- through drugs, alcohol, or any number of risky behaviors.

All part of the life, I was told. This crazy rockstar life.

No, my friends. Just, no.


I’d mentioned Hunter S. Thompson earlier- here’s a bit of his wisdom: “The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”


Cooks and bakers are artists, and artists are passionate people. We seize upon things at a very deep, visceral level. Often, it can lead to genius and ecstasy. 

Sometimes, madness and isolation.

Sometimes, somewhere much darker.
In recent interviews, Anthony Bourdain has explained his misgivings about Kitchen Confidential- the book that brought him fame. He has since distanced himself from the badboy rockstar of his early years, and has mentioned that he’d be pleased if those years could just be forgotten by the world.

I have read articles by chefs and other culinary professionals who’ve lost friends to the madness, via drugs and alcohol, or who have permanently crippled themselves in an effort to “cut their teeth” and “earn their stripes.”
I’ve been among them, looking down at burns and cuts on my arms and hands with a sort of pride- like they were my own “red badges of courage.”

My friends, this is not the way to go.

Your body- your life- is the best tool you have in your kitchen- and you can’t just go out and get a new one when it breaks. You can’t create and provide for people if you’re too strung out to work.

I have unhealthy habits, and I own them. I drink regularly, though rarely to excess. I used to be a caffeine addict.I also used to be overweight, and in danger of becoming diabetic.

On the other hand, I also exercise regularly. I eat healthier and have lost weight.
Most importantly, I check myself constantly to know when I’m getting too deep- when I need to take a breath and walk away for a moment.
I look forward to a life in culinary- and I’d like it to be as long as possible.

If you see a friend going towards the darkness, don’t let them slide. 
Say something.
DO something.

There are plenty of geniuses in the graveyard, and as I was taught (ironically) in EMT school- “No one needs a dead hero.”

Stay Classy,

For the Love of Food- A Look at the Chaîne de Rôtisseurs

     Good evening, friends and neighbors!

     Around two years ago, I had just gotten home from culinary school. My uniform had just been tossed in the laundry, I was in my pajamas, and was clicking around online for something interesting to read when my phone rang. It was my father, and the conversation went like this:

Dad: “Matt, where are you now?”

Me: “Uh… just got home, Dad.”

Dad: “Do you own a tux?”

Me: “Not really… I’ve got a black suit and vest though.”

Dad: “That’ll do. How far are you from (a local country club/ golf course)?

Me: “Um… about 15 minutes.”

Dad: “Meet me there in 20 minutes. Wear your suit. Black tie. Bring business cards.” *click*

After a vague feeling of unease and a mounting excitement past, I followed instructions. I had been losing weight for a few months by then, and my suit didn’t fit. I wound up wearing a belt and doing the “military tuck,” but I looked presentable. 

Cards in vest pocket, I burned rubber to get to the country club.

Picture

Uh… not quite.

There were lots of people in tuxes, some of them wearing brightly-colored ribbons and chains around their necks. I handed my car off to the valet (silently embarrassed at the cleanliness of the front footwell), and my dad met me in the vestibule of the main building. He was also wearing a tux, and a purple ribbon and chain, studded with pins. He lead me into the opulent main hall.

There was food EVERYWHERE. A large appetizer buffet had been set up in a round in the center of the room- crudite, baked brie, dips, salads, dressings. 

Waiters were milling around with trays. I heard the words “oyster,” “foie gras,” and “caviar” more than once.

This was fine dining… it was EXPENSIVE dining. On the outside, I managed to stay cool, but in my head I felt like a sinner in church. 

I was a fart in a perfume shop.

I was a warm bottle of beer at a barbecue.

My dad leaned in and muttered in my ear:

“Purple means they’re involved in food. Orange means a chef. Orange with red is head chef, Purple with orange is a chef owner. Go talk.”

Then he vanished. My brain promptly gave up and crapped itself.

Picture

………..

A Quick History Lesson

That was my introduction to the Chaîne de Rôtissieurs.

The Chaîne de Rôtisseurs (“The Chaîne” for short, pronounced “shen”) is a gastronomy group- the oldest and largest food and wine society in the world, with chapters (“Baillage”, “bailli” plural) all over the world, bringing together people that love to eat food with the chefs that love to make it. 

We’ll get back to tuxedoed, poo-brained me in a bit.

     First established nearly 800 years ago in the court of King Louis IX of France, the Guild of Goose Roasters was incorporated to bring order to the various providers of roasted fowl and enforce measure of quality appropriate to the royal table. 

In 1610, King Louis XIII officially recognized the guild with its own coat of arms, and affirmed it’s responsibility for poultry, game birds, lamb, and venison.

 This position of authority and power was enjoyed for several centuries, thanks to the patronage of the more affluent heads of society. The guild disbanded in 1793, however, due to the loss of that affluent patronage- who had lost THEIR heads in the French Revolution.

Picture

Outrageous French accents were included.

Picture

What do you mean, “all our customers are dead?!”

One curious point in that long history- around 1787, The Chaîne filed a lawsuit  against a tavern owner known only as Monsieur Boulanger to shut down his business. Previously, food only was available as an incidental to getting a room at a tavern, and if you wanted to serve food, you bought it from guilds (such as the Chaîne.) Boulanger had a thought to open a tavern where you could pay JUST to get food, and not have to stay the night. Since there were no Soupmaking guilds, he served a thick, creamy meat stew that was considered a restorative- in French, a “restaurant.”
The Chaîne almost had the world’s first restaurant shut down, because Boulanger wasn’t buying from them.

Anyway, leaping forward:
In 1950, the Chaine was resurrected as “La Confrerie de la Chaines de Rotisseur” by Dr. Auguste Becart, Jean Valby, “Prince” Cumonsky, and Chefs Louis Giraudon and Marcel Dorin. To represent the new organization, a logo was designed based on the original guilds coat of arms:

Depicted are crossed rotisserie spits, surrounded by four larding needles with a flaming border to represent the hearth. Chains were added to be reminders of the the rotisseries chains- the small inner chain representing the professionals, the larger outer chain representing the wider community of non-professionals- and fleur-de-lis in honor of King Louis, who first incorporated the guild.

The mission of today’s Chaine is simple: to bring people who love good food, wine, and people together with chefs and professionals who love serving them. Simultaneously, the Chaine encourages its professionals to talk, converse, and explore. When a Chaine dinner occurs at the restaurant, they are not interested in the standard menu. They want the chef and his staff to play around and explore. The weird, the bizarre, the rare and unusual- all fair game, as long as they are delicious and go well with wine.

The baillage closest to me, in Atlantic City, is also very active in benefitting culinary education. Yearly fundraisers are held to help local culinary schools, and especially talented students are awarded scholarships- as well as student memberships in the Chaine itself- to help them on with their careers. As cynical as it may seem, the opportunity to simply MEET people who are higher up in the field than yourself, much less sit across a table from them for a few hours, is not one for a young professional to miss. I highly encourage any young sommeliers or culinarians out there to seek them out, or similar organizations. 

Any group that exists solely for people to enjoy food and wine together and give chefs the freedom to express themselves is a force for good in this world, as far as I’m concerned.

Oh yes… speaking of young culinarians, back to Poo-Brained Matt.

There I stood- drink in hand, business cards suddenly very heavy in the pocket of my ill-fitting black suit. Some people seemed drunk. Others seemed bored. Many seemed highly engaged. EVERYONE seemed hungry.

I packed a small plate with crudite and cheese, knocked back a glass of wine, and made straight for whoever seemed friendliest.

Many of the details of that night have faded from memory a bit, but here are some highlights.

  • I met a very kind and animated older woman who was the procurer for a wine and liquor chain in central New Jersey. She would later invite me to a beer and wine festival, not usually open to the general public.
  • A few drinks in, my dad flagged me over to his table and introduced me to an elegant, soft-spoken gentleman who expressed interest in my baking. I pulled out my phone and babbled my way through pictures of my work for about 10 minutes. The next morning, I realized he was the VP of Food and Beverage at one of the casinos. A few months later, he was my boss.
  • At dinner, I sat next to another interesting old man- this one with longer, sort of scraggled hair and a thousand-yard stare. We talked at length about history, food, and education. He turned out to be one of the founders of my culinary school.

The week after, my dad asked if I wanted to join the Chaine.
A few months later, I was a Rotisseur (a student member.)

Last year, at the invitation of Chef Joe Muldoon (the first person to unironically call me “Chef”), I prepared this intermezzo and dessert for the Chaîne at his restaurant, Roberta’s.

A few weeks ago, I became a professional member. Apparently I am the third generation in my family to join the Chaîne- but the first to join as a chef.

I never really thought of orange as my color before.

Picture

My suit fits a lot better!

Stay Classy,

Things To Remember, Part 2

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

A while back, I wrote a blog entry where I related some simple words of wisdom I had picked up from working in the culinary arts. Since this week was yet another grueling one and I find myself nearly dead to the world, it seemed like a perfect time to add to that list.

For those who don’t want to click the link above, here’s the list so far:

  • Fail Faster
  • Products taste better than ideas, but nothing tastes better than memories.
  • The big night is not the time to try something new.
  • Simplicity, with elegance.
  • Classics are classic for a reason.
  • If you want the fruit off the tree, take care of the roots.
  • Proper prior planning prevents poor performance.
  • Use all 5 senses.
  • Don’t assume everyone does their job right/ all the time.
  • Why kill yourself?
  • If you’re standing in the kitchen doing nothing, you’re either forgetting something, just visiting, or trying to get fired.
Obviously, these don’t just apply to baking, or even just kitchen life. They can apply to all aspects of your life as well.
Here are some other thoughts I have distilled down from my experiences since then:

More of the BHB’s Words of Wisdom

Remember Murphy’s Law, especially as it applies to you
Murphy’s Law states, in a nutshell, “Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.” Whatever rush you might be in, take time to pause and see what’s three steps ahead. Spot weakness and accidents-waiting-to-happen. More than anything, plan based on yourself- what you will do next, and what you are most likely the mess up. Get rid of opportunities for you to cause accidents for yourself.
A watched pot never boils- but an unwatched pot of dairy will boil over and ruin your life for the next few hours.
Seriously, don’t leave milk or cream to boil on the stove. Or anything else for that matter. Boiled over dairy makes a HIDEOUS mess.
First course, first impression. Last course, last confession.
Given a series of events, people are more likely to remember what happened first and what happened last most clearly. The same goes with planning a menu or doing a dinner party. A great appetizer can set the mood for an entire meal- a bad appetizer than make it all seem sour. A good dessert can smooth over a rough meal- a bad dessert will stick in their heads. 
It is not enough to taste- you must taste properly.
Tasting everything as you cook is obvious- but knowing HOW to taste is trickier. When you taste, know what you are looking for, if anything. Be able to dissemble the flavor as you taste it, and the reassemble it. 

This list will likely grow further in the future. Any professionals out there know something I should add? Leave it in the comments!

Stay Classy,
BHB

Cooking at Home- Your Ticket to Culinary Independence

     Good evening, friends and neighbors!

I love restaurants.
No kidding, right? I work for them, I dine at them, I review them (in my own off-hand, fanboyish, ineffective way,) and some of my best friends work in them. My parents taught me how to behave in restaurants when I was very little. In a way, they are like a form of performance theater to me. Granted, I can eat the props, but still….

Picture

This has not happened to me… yet.

I used to write my blog entries from them all the time. It was a once-a-week treat to myself- find a nice bar/restaurant, order a drink, get some grub, type up an entry, throw it on to the net when I got home.
Recently, however, I’ve been a little more cautious about where my money goes. While a delightful experience, restaurant-going is pretty expensive. Given the situation in Atlantic City (where my 9-to-5 is), and the fact that my girlfriend and I are plotting to move in together soon, in recent months I’ve been looking for ways to trim up my budget and cut spending where I can. Yay for being a grown-up!
Picture

“Don’t bother me, I’m working!”

Sadly, on going through my spending records, I found that a pretty good amount of my spending money after necessities was going to restaurants, and I could only look forward to that spending money total shrinking in the future.

Nothing for it- restaurants had to become a special treat.

Picture

Oh Hell….. *dramatic music*

Fortunately, several things are working in my favor!

  1. I’m comfortable in the kitchen and can cook for myself (someone said that was ‘women’s work‘? They’re probably hungry right now.)
  2. I have a girlfriend who loves to cook AND eat out as much as I do. (Yay, I’m bragging. Friggin’ winner right here.)
  3. Given my health goals and lifestyle, eating in helps me eat healthier!
  4. There are plenty of recipes and ideas out there to stretch a few bucks of ingredients into meals for a week.
As a honorable (heh) denizen of the internet, I am also a fan of webcomics and other comedic web-based malarkey. Thus, when two members of one of my favorite comedy troupes, SMBC Theater, decided to start a YouTube cooking channel called “Broke Eats” and a show called “Hand 2 Mouth”, I dutifully contributed to their Kickstarter.
In each video, James Ashby and Marque Franklin-Williams teach their viewers basic recipes, and how to come up with healthy meals on a truly shoe-string budget. I highly recommend watching the videos and picking up a thing or two. 
Hopefully not from James, though- seriously, don’t stick a meat cleaver in a running blender.

Given my work schedule, one of the toughest things to get around was the fact that, when I get home, I’m friggin’ TIRED. I don’t want to cook, I want FOOD. In my FACE. NOW. In the past (and every now and then when I’m feeling like it, honestly), this has led to me pulling down a can of soup, or a frozen burrito, or whatever instant meal I had grabbed and tossed into my pantry/freezer. 

While wonderfully convenient, the sheer amount of preservatives that can be found in some canned goods and frozen foods is mind-boggling. In addition to that, buying ready-made stuff still isn’t fiscally reasonable all the time. If you want ready-made stuff without the hideous amounts of weird science in it, it will cost you- big time.

Nope- more often than not, good ingredients and a little time is the way to go. What’s more, some recipes can keep remarkably well. One night of cooking can provide a hungry man with non-crap lunches and tasty post-work dinners for a week! 

To help you on your way, here’s a couple of my favorite recipes (inspired by the guys at Broke Eats!) that have been feeding me well for the last few months, and helping me save my budget!

Ham and Lentils

This is my little twist on split pea and ham soup. It’s more like a lentil salad (or a porridge if you supercook the lentils on purpose) than a soup though. The great thing about this is that lentils (green ones in particular) are packed with protein, and a one pound bag is dirt cheap at most stores. Rock it out with some ham and spices, and you’ve got a meal!

Makes 4 servings

Ingredients
2 cups green lentils
4 cups water or broth
1 lb. ham (I used cheapish pre-cooked ham from the supermarket, but you can use whatever you want.)
2 cloves garlic, minced
Herbs/Spices (I used paprika, Israeli pepper, black pepper, and celery salt.)
2 tbs. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 tbs Apple Cider Vinegar

Method

  1. Rinse the lentils in a collander or strainer under cold water. Be sure to pick through them for pebbles or other inedibles that may have gotten in there.
  2. Put the rinsed lentils in a saucepan or pot and pour in the water/broth. Dump in your garlic and spices, except for salt or anything with salt.
  3. Place on medium-high heat until the water comes to a rapid simmer, then drop it down to medium low or low for a very gentle simmer. You should see only a few small bubbles. Let simmer, uncovered, for 20-30 minutes or until the lentils are tender. Add water as needed to make sure the lentils remain covered. While this is going on, cook/cut up your ham into smallish cubes. If you want really mushy lentils for a porridge, let them cook longer.
  4. When the lentils are ready, take them off the heat. Dump the lentils into a collander/strainer and strain well. Toss them back into the pot and stir in the ham, salt, and whatever salty ingredients you had.
  5. Toss in the olive oil and vinegar, serve and enjoy!

The BHB’s Favorite Fried Rice

At the casino I work in, my bake shop is right next door to the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant. A guy named Jun does the morning prep work, and twice a week he makes an insane amount of fried rice that gets sent throughout the house to a number of outlets. Every time he makes it, he drops off a big plate of it right in the bake shop.
I was never much of a fried rice guy(or even much of a Chinese food guy) in my life, but when you have been laboring over an oven full of cheesecake all morning, you’re starving to death, and you can leave till those cakes are DONE- the arrival of a simple plate of fried rice to munch on is as close to a miracle as I can think of.
These days, thanks to Jun, fried rice is becoming a little bit of a comfort food for me. I wanted to learn to make it myself, and Broke Eats did a Hand 2 Mouth episode. Watch and learn to make this delicious, filling, and simple dish.

Ingredients
2 cups cooked rice (some say the cooked rice should be a day old, others fresh. Whatever texture you like) 
1 medium sized onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 small cans of peas and carrots, or leftover veggies of any kind you like- just cook them first.
2 eggs, scrambled
1-2 tbs. vegetable oil
Spices/seasonings (I like Chinese Five Spice, Chili Garlic Paste, Black Pepper, and a little bit of sesame oil)
Soy sauce

Method

  1. Heat up a large frying pan or wok over medium-high heat. Once the pan is hot, add in your oil and swirl to coat the bottom.
  2. Once the oil starts to shimmer, toss in your garlic and onions. Cook them for about 2 or 3 minutes, till the onion is translucent and somewhat browned.
  3. Next, in goes your other veggies. You’re going to stir-fry these until they are well-heated.
  4. Time for the scrambled eggs! Pour them in and stir fry. Make sure all the egg gets cooked, as the veggies will get coated.
  5. When the eggs are all cooked, in goes the rice. Toss it up well and make sure everything gets well mixed. Apply your seasonings and toss everything evenly.
  6. Last but not least, in goes the soy sauce. The soy sauce will burn quickly, so make this last thing you add in, just before you serve.

Note: This is more a method of stir-frying grains than an actual recipe- feel free to use any cooked grains and leftover veggies you have lying around! My girlfriend and I used chopped onion, peppers, and garlic to make fried quinoa. See what you have available and go nuts!

Got some favorite recipes of your own? Something you love that feeds a lot, for less?
Drop some tasty knowledge in the comments!
In the meantime, I’ve got some more “work” to do…

Picture

Yeah, you like the fez.

Stay Classy,

Gender Roles and Stereotypes in the Culinary World

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

In December of 2013, one of the biggest things in my life happened- I graduated from culinary school. This picture was taken-

Picture

I’ll always remember this picture taken for several reasons- not the least of which was really rather awkward…
In lining us all up for the picture, the photographer placed me in the center. During the shoot, he called out to me, “Matt, smile! Hugh Hefner and his bunnies, man! Smile!”

Yeah. He said that.

Immediately I looked around, my face turning bright red with embarrassment. The faces of my friends, while bemused, also rather betrayed an unspoken order- “Yeah, don’t even THINK of mentioning that to any one, EVER.”

Picture

Eeeeeeeeeerm…. yeah….
I had wanted to write about this topic for quite a while now, but always felt like I was biting off more than I could chew. A male baker talking about gender stereotypes in the culinary world might come off as self-congratulatory and sanctimonious, Moses coming down from his mountain in great compassion for his oppressed culinary sisters.

     After I wrote a previous entry about experiences with body/fitness stereotypes, however, I knew the gloves had to come off. Our culture has a bizarre sort of cognitive dissonance when it comes to gender in the culinary world, and it’s time to explore that. This subject matter has been covered many times covering many different angles, but here I’d like to point out something that falls by the wayside-

“Why is a man who bakes professionally looked at differently than a man who just bakes domestically?”

Picture

Case in point…
     
    See that? You probably laughed and rooted for the guy who defended his baking and laid the smack down on the guy who tried to insult him by calling it “gay.”
I did too when I first read it.
It shouldn’t have happened in the first place though. No one, man or woman, should feel the need to defend what they like to do against it being called “gay,” or “feminine,” or any other word that the ignorant choose to employ as a slur.

Back to the above question, and the cognitive dissonance thing.
Behold, the professional male baker: 

Picture

Wikipedia
We see here a strong young man, working at his craft. He’s youthful, but clearly determined. He has his orders, knows his work, and is doing it diligently. In time, if he sticks with it, society may come to see him as an older man- tough-as-nails, strong-silent-type, supernaturally productive. A true force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, and in life.

What of a man who bakes for the love of it, though? A man who bakes at home because he likes feeding his family, doing it for himself?

Picture

    Sadly, our culture has another list of descriptors for him:
“Whipped.”
“Mr. Mom.”
“Fag.”
“Sissy.”
“Girly.”

    The reason for this is the gender “roles” and stereotypes that we unwittingly perpetuate. These stereotypes say that the domestic world is the woman’s world. The woman’s duty is to cook and clean the house, making sure cookies are baked and dinner is made for her hard-working, bread-winning husband to come home to.

Picture

“Let me fix my lipstick, dear, and then I’ll keep cleaning and you can eat dinner.”
Make baking into a PROFESSION, however, and it’s perfectly right for a man to do it. Where else do you get the obese, handle-bar-mustached chef? Or the fiery, lanky, hell-on-wheels, perfectionist French pastry chef for that matter?
They’re not baking, they’re WORKING. Work outside the home is the man’s world.

The culinary arts have historically BEEN a male-dominated industry, with innumerable tales of sexual harassment awaiting the woman who tries to make headway.

When a young male chef feels like he can “mansplain” to a more experienced female chef how to grow her business, that’s a problem.

When we can laugh at memes like these (and I have too), there is a question not being asked:

“Why does baking NEED to be depicted as more manly?”“Real men bake?”
“Real men eat cupcakes?”
Well-meaning, but unnecessary.
PEOPLE bake.
PEOPLE eat cupcakes.
PEOPLE eat food, and genderizing activities limits what people can achieve. It reinforces stereotypes, and holds the industry- and society itself- back.
Picture

Looking back, I realized what made me want to discuss this topic.
My girlfriend and I both love to be in the kitchen, and have already decided that our future children- male and female- will know how to cook and bake. Naturally, I will be teaching my son to bake.
As soon as I realized that, I thought, “What am I going to say to him the first time he comes from school and the boys call him ‘sissy’ or ‘girly’ because he likes baking with his dad?”
I came up with a number of answers: that baking wasn’t girly, that there was nothing wrong with being a girl, that those boys will be waiting for someone to feed and take care of them all their lives while my son would be able to do it for himself.

Then I realized I’d rather it didn’t happen at all. I’d like to just greet him when he got home and point to the Winnie-the-Pooh cookie jar on the table that I had just recently filled, and tell him to get his apron on.

Picture

And if you have a problem with my Winnie-the-Pooh cookie jar, you haven’t been paying attention.
Stay Classy,