Things To Remember Part 3

September 16, 2024September 16, 2024 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

“Experience is the hardest teacher there is- it gives the test first and teaches the lesson after.”

I’m still plugging away at my book at mentorship and training. It’s slow going, partially because of lack of metaphorical spoons on a given day and partially because going back over some parts involves frankly unpleasant memories. What I tell myself about why this particular book has taken so damn long compared to my last two is because I’ve been in a position of Actual Documented and Titled Leadership- first as the kitchen manager of the pie shop and now as the pastry lead of a winery.

Neither title includes the word “chef-“ but it’s the team that makes the leader.

I’ve told myself that these experiences were effectively ongoing research material and proof of concept for the book and that that’s why I effectively put the book on ice for a bit. “This is good advice? Ok, how’d it work when YOU tried it?”

On an interpersonal level, not badly. Plenty of folks left their jobs, a few stayed, those who stayed were happy. Not everything is for everyone, and that’s just how life goes.

On a professional level, though, and especially as a middle manager, there is a lot that went wrong no matter what I said or did. There is only ever so much one person can control, and the role of a leader, in my mind, is to lead, communicate, serve, and protect their team. Eventually people have to look after themselves- as a leader, I can only ever advocate and look out of them as much as I can.

If you’re doing this whole “life” thing right though, you live and you learn. I made a poster of my previous axioms of kitchen wisdom that you might apply to daily life, but there always more to learn… and I can always fix the poster.

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Finding Our Foodways- Why You Can’t Eat Nostalgia

July 7, 2024July 7, 2024 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Go far enough down a rabbit hole, and you’ll find more than Wonderland. No subject or history happens in a vacuum and, if you are curious enough, you’ll find links to people, moments, movements, and concepts you might not have thought possible.

I’m reading an oddly engaging book that is, ostensibly, about a famous sibling rivalry in Battle Creek, Michigan at the dawn of the 20th century. The book is also about American foodways of the time, the history of medicine, and the beliefs of various Christian sects in America- namely the Millerites, the Grahamites, and the Seventh-Day Adventists.

You might think that’s a little far afield for a book on sibling rivalry- until you realize that the brothers in question were Dr. John Harvey and Will Kellogg. Together, they created the “wellness” industry, pioneered the mass production of food… and so helped give 21st-century weirdos something else to obsess over.

A woman in yellow looking with disgust at a single red apple in front of her. — Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

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The Alchemist

May 25, 2024May 25, 2024 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Baking and pastry, I’ve often noticed, gets treated with a mixture of awe, admiration, and contempt among kitchen workers. On one hand, we’re often the guys that have easy-to-grab snacks on hand. “Hey Matt… um… any of these cookies happen to ‘fall on the floor?’” Our weighing of everything, our techniques, and (frequently) the vision of us patiently stirring pots of bubbling stuff that smells amazing makes what bakers do look like alchemy or wizardry. Occasionally, there are some cooks with chips on their shoulder that insist we’re “useless” and “can’t do anything without a recipe book.” (Yes, I actually had someone say that to me once. To my knowledge they still have all their teeth, God knows how.)

Somewhere along the way, though, I’ve managed to cultivate an image out here that compels this question from my coworkers: “Dude, how old ARE you?”

My mannerisms aside, I don’t think I look a day over “ageless.”

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Processing the Parsley- Why The Slow Stupid Way Works

May 13, 2024May 25, 2024 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

This happens at least once in every kitchen.

A new cook is told to chop leafy herbs, and they are given a cutting board and told to hone their knife. A bunch or two in, the new cook inevitably looks up at the Robo-coup (a.k.a. “Robocop” or “Robo”, a brand name for a heavy-duty professional food processor. Our version of a Cuisinart.)
“This is friggin’ stupid. It would be way faster and more efficient to use the Robo-coup.”

An older cook looks up from their own prep and shakes their head. “Nope, it’s gotta be like this. The food processor doesn’t do it right.”
To the new cook, this sounds like “peeling potatoes builds character” hazing bullshit. As soon as the chef isn’t looking, the new cook has taken down the heavy cube of a machine, affixed the bowl and blade, and is shoving bunches of parsley in while the older cook rolls his eyes, watches, and waits.

The machine IS powerful, and noisy. Chunks of green juice and herb splatter against the clear lid like alien guts while the very-pleased-with-themselves cook watches and uses his “expert opinion” to decide how long is enough. Soon, he tips out the bowl into a container and is about to load another couple of bunches in when the chef’s voice rings out. “The hell do you think you are doing?!”

Young Iron Chef freezes, they don’t understand. The parsley is getting chopped, right? They’re doing their job. They’re doing it faster than everyone else, right? That’s the point, isn’t it? Why are they in trouble? “Chopping the parsley like you said, Chef!”

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Food and Drink- Keeping it Local

January 27, 2024 / The Black Hat Baker / 3 Comments

Growing up in my wine enthusiast father’s house, I started learning about alcohol at 13. My sisters and I were passed small sips of whatever he and my mother were drinking, gently quizzed on what we tasted and smelled as far as our early-teen brains could describe ”flavor notes,” and then given an instructive lecture on that particular wine, where it came from, what caused those flavors, and the idea of terroir– that you could taste the unique chemistry of the soil and climate in the products of it’s earth.

I can tell you now that, despite my father’s instruction, I never really fell in love with wine. Unless it’s especially unusual, I will always enjoy wine as “interesting fun grape juice.” Unless it’s terrible, then I just don’t finish.

My dad was not speaking into a void though. What he said DID land and plant a seed, although it grew to be more inclined to beer and liquor, which I can say I then cultivated with the hearty fertilizers of sociology, history, anthropology, and being really damned curious when faced with the unfamiliar-but-promising.