“Earning” Your Rocking Chair- Becoming the Old Man I Want to Be

Whimsy isn’t something you have to earn- it’s something you possess and cultivate, and if you are drawn in a direction out of whimsy and authenticity you are too lucky to ignore it. That’s the kind of thing that shows you who you are meant to be.

At the bottom of the hill where my winery is located, there’s a little bar in a shopping plaza. They have decent beers and a few hard liquors to choose from, but they’re really more of a taproom than a full bar. All the same, they are the semi-official post-shift watering hole for cooks, servers, and occasionally office people in the winery. We’re all regulars by face if not by name.

When the beer offerings aren’t tempting me after a long day, I tend to go with whiskey. They have a few pricier bottles to pick from and their cheapest bottles I’d call “middle shelf-” whiskey’s that would be in the $30-$50 range if I got one for myself. Better than rotgut and bottom-shelf well whiskey, but not as speedy as ultra-premium brands. If I’m not feeling like Jameson’s “Black Barrel” expression or one of the slightly spendy local whiskeys, the Old Forester “Bottled-in-Bond” is a reliable choice with a couple small rocks in it.

It was an evening after a rough day. I got my little glass, sat down at a table outside facing in to the parking lot and up the hill, and decided to update the family that it was in fact That Kind Of Day.

My father sent back his approval. Old Forester was your grandfather’s favorite. There was always a bottle in your grandmothers den.”

I stared at the little glass and thought to myself, “Finally, after 40 years, I’m turning into an Old Man.”

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Time In A Bottle- In Praise of Whiskey

It’s easy to be staggered by even a small selection. If the legendary Fountain of Youth were real and the Water of Life changed character and flavor with every drop, I’m not sure I’d care which one I got. When each “drop” can cost between $20 and $2000+, though… one feels the need to be a little choosy.

While my dad loves wine and passed his knowledge of tasting and experiencing wine down to me well enough, wine just never sang in me the same way whiskey and beer have. No less an art form, requiring no less craft and patience and care, people have spent their lives in pursuit of their perfect dram, let alone the perfect one. Among my goals in life is to have my own little whiskey collection- not large by any means, but each bottle curated with care to suit any situation myself or my guest might bring to my bar.

What’s stopping me? In order to have a collection of whiskeys, one must either make enough money to buy more whiskey than one can buy quickly, or drink it slowly enough that a collection can accumulate. Either track is, alas, remarkably challenging.

Tellingly, the word “whiskey” is derived from the Gaelic “uisgebatha,” which translates to “water of life.” If legends and folktales tell us anything, the quest for the Water of Life is anything but easy or short. In my own meandering experience, however, it is incredibly enjoyable.

Piss on picklebacks at your own risk.
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Review #6- Neat

WHERE: Neat, 2637 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97214

  Sometimes, you just want a good whiskey. Not complicated cocktails, not pastel drinks, not funny or cute names.
    You just want a place to be quiet, to relax, and to enjoy a goddamned whiskey.    Walking down Hawthorne Boulevard in just such a mood, I was on my way to another bar that had an interesting name. I’d passed by it before, and thought it looked fascinating.
     Neat is not that bar. It’s the bar that kept me from going there just after sticking my head in- everything I needed, and a shorter walk to boot.