When I am in a sour mood- cranky, frustrated, exhausted, irritated by life- that’s often when I am most likely to do something charitable. I’ll help out a friend with a problem, give some extra cash to a panhandler, or buy something I don’t really need to support a good cause.
Why? There’s a lot of psychology behind the action. We can discuss the differences between empathy and sympathy, that being frustrated puts me in a more empathetic place to others and I’m more likely to try and help. We can discuss how doing good things releases endorphins, making me feel good, and whether or not that makes the action actually “altruistic.” It could even be as simple as “I feel like this world sucks, so I’m gonna do SOMETHING to make it better.”
Those would be excellent blog posts… but they are not this one. This post is about the fact that that same principle applies to when good things happen to other people, and to help your negative feelings about it. This post is about Impostor Syndrome, envy, and diffusing both by supporting your friends.
Managing is a full-time job in itself, and going from being a cook or baker to a managing is more than a promotion. It’s a shift in mentality. After years of needing to be “hands-on,” I will no longer have the time, energy or focus to give every task personal attention. Ironically, one of the hardest lessons I will have to learn as a chef is how not to be in control.
It should have been a commonplace part of the day. Everything should have gone according to plan (one could say about anything.) Yet, someone goofed up.
Part of my job on prep involves readying the next mornings bake in the proofer and setting it on a timer. Lately, I’ve been able to pull all the necessary pastries and keep them in the fridge. The proofer gets used until near the end of my shift, and there’s no real point in me sticking around just to load it. The afternoon team knows where I keep the trayed goods- I point them to the rack, I go home, and they load the proofer when they’re done.
Yesterday, someone forgot. There was mayhem in the morning, and my manager called to ask why the proofer wasn’t loaded.
Yes, I was told to leave early. Yes, other people loading the proofer is common. Yes, there were four other pairs of eyes that should have noticed something was left undone.
It’s my job though. It’s my team- and I am responsible.
The Buck Stops Here
Servant leadership means that, instead of being a “boss” and just telling people what to do, the leader says “Here’s what I need you to do- what can I do to help make that possible?” A leader doesn’t just hand out tasks- the leader controls the timeline, provides the resources, streamlines work, fosters communication, and makes the hard decisions and final calls.
This doesn’t mean every screw-up needs to be handled with chest beating and a refrain of mea culpa. As a leader, part of the job is keeping everyone honest and responsible for their actions and coaching when needed. Regardless, a problem with your team is always your problem. Even if it’s something that came from above, that’s a discussion for the leader and their superiors- the leader is still responsible to their team.
Responsibility Goes Three Directions
I am purposefully ignoring a certain famous Spider-Man quote regarding power and responsibility. I’m pretty sure that even in-universe, Peter Parker is sick to the teeth with how cliche it’s become.
Regarding responsibility, however, there is always a direction involved- Person A is responsible to Person B for task/condition/team/whatever C. You might note that that does not indicate that responsibility only goes “up” the ladder:
Someone in a leadership position is responsible to their superiors for making sure the mission of their team gets donecorrectly, on time,with a minimum of fuss and complication, and in accordance with the organization. They are responsible for essentially making sure the higher-ups will be done, that their team gets the job done right, and in a way that brings credit to the organization.
An unfortunate aphorism is that “Shit runs downhill.” Credit goes up, blame goes down… a good leader knows how to subvert this “wisdom.”
They are also responsible to their team to manage competently and to the best of their ability. They are responsible for providing the resources needed to get the job, the “big picture” of their goal as a team, and a strategy to help the team succeed. They are responsible for advocating for their team to the higher-ups- whether it’s for needed resources and support, better working conditions, or being the intermediary when discipline is called for.
The aphorism here is that “A chef is a cook that leads other cooks.” As a leader/authority, they are the face of their team to the higher-ups and vice versa.
Finally, a leader is responsible to themselves. They need to meet their expectations for themselves while keeping those expectations reasonable. They need to execute their job to the best of their ability without martyring themselves. They need to give their full effort to their team while still looking after themselves- or else they won’t be in a condition to take care of anyone. They need to answer to their superiors, but without going against their own moral compass in the name of convenience or expediency.
Summing It Up
When you become a leader or take a leadership role, authority comes with responsibility. You are answerable to everyone, and everything is- in some way- your problem. You need to be able to enforce your superiors will, speak up for your subordinates, and look after yourself according to your own values all at the same time. Even when it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility.
It’s a hard road to walk- we can all tell stories about “leaders” who slipped up one way or another. If it was easy, though, it wouldn’t be worth doing.
You can feel it all around the United States. With the massive push of vaccinations and the slowly declining COVID-19 case numbers, restaurants and venues are starting to relax their requirements. People still need to wear masks, yes, and social distancing is still a thing- but you can eat inside now. You can sit with friends. You and your buddies can, within reason, go out and grab a beer just like you used to. We are starting to get back to normal after a year in a plague-ridden Hell of our own creation.
Not all industries are ready though:
“Hey, I need to hire two line cooks ASAP! Anyone give me any leads?” “Guys, I’m desperate. I need a dishwasher, a busboy, and at least three cooks NOW- the restaurant is packed every night and I can’t take it anymore!”
“Why can’t I find capable help anymore?! Everyone I hire either flakes out, burns out, or just quits! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE COOKS?!”
They found greener pastures, folks. They had no other choice. We need to raise a new crop of cooks from scratch- maybe we’ll be smarter about it this time.
You would think that “servant leadership” would be immediately applicable to modern kitchen life, but as a leadership ethos it has yet to see the predominance it deserves. It is not at odds with the traditional brigade system as Auguste Escoffier envisioned it- though it is certainly at odds with the bullying and barbarism that has come to be associated with being “classically trained.” Hardly a terrible thing, since that “tradition” is itself at odds with little things like “health and safety of the worker” and “being a fucking human.”
“Servant leadership” is, at its core, an ethos that changes leadership from “Do what I tell you” to “This is what needs to get done- what can I do to help you do it better?”If you would like a masterclass in what that mentality can and should be like, look no farther than the sous chef– the second-in-command of a kitchen, and the chef’s “right hand man.”
The Black Hat Baker 