Why Do I Do This To Myself?

November 21, 2016September 1, 2019 / The Black Hat Baker / 1 Comment

Good evening, friends and neighbors. It’s been a while.

5:15 AM

My alarm goes off by my side of the bed. It’s still dark in the room.- not even a hint of the dawn coming in about 2 hours. I know Emily has probably only been in bed a few hours (night owl that she is,) so I jerk myself conscious enough to silence the alarm quickly before it can bother her.

My phone alarm acts as a dim nightlight, so I can just barely make her out next to me. Streetlights and headlights glow indirectly through the tiny ceiling window- enough for me to grab my phone, check the weather forecast for the morning, buzz through Facebook, curse myself for doing so, and get up.

I don’t have to be into work till 9, but I insist on arriving no later than 8:45. I want time to make breakfast and clean up-

after a workout of course.

This was not always me.

4 years ago, this was me.

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When Snacks Attack….

May 24, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / 1 Comment

Good afternoon, friends and neighbors! How did your mead turn out? Tasty, I hope!
I keep meaning to make this blog a bit more frequent than bi-weekly, and once my secret project finally unfolds, I think I’ll have more than enough material to do that!
“Wait, what secret project?”
Oh, you’ll see… In about two weeks.

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Bannocks- For When You’ve Got To Hit The Trail Hard

April 7, 2016March 18, 2019 / The Black Hat Baker / 1 Comment

As she was running out the door for work Monday morning, Emily made a request:

“Hun, think you could make some bannocks that I can grab for breakfast? No raisins or anything- just plain is fine.”

“Yes, dear.”

As my father would say, “Those two words are the secret to a happy marriage.”

Jokes aside, I didn’t mind. Bannocks are one of my staple recipes for a reason. They are a perfect blend of oatmeal cookie and biscuit that can be grabbed quickly, keep for a long time, and are an ideal breakfast with a quick schmeer of butter or jam.

If you don’t know what “schmeer” is, you need to be roughly 15% more Jewish.

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To Build A Better Baker: Reps, Rolling Pins, and Finding A Reason

March 31, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Good evening, friends and neighbors!
Ostensibly, this is a baking and food blog. I am, after all, a baker and culinary professional. I am used to, and in fact EXPECT to, get a lot of questions.
Most of them, however, are about fitness and weight loss- particularly mine.
“How do you keep so slim while working in a bakery? I’d be as big as a house!” “How can you stand to be around all that butter and sugar?”

Or, worst of all,

“What diet are you on/pill are you taking to keep so trim?!”