Good evening, friends and neighbors!
on the BHB’s “On The Bench”…
Teach the Children to Cook
Good evening, friends and neighbors! Happy New Year! I hope your New Year’s Eve was spent with friends and loved ones, eating good food and giving 2015 a fond farewell- or maybe a swift kick on it’s way out.
Well, we can try anyway…
In a few previous entries, I wrote about education, but only as far as culinary school- that is, education for adults that want to make a career in the food industry. In my opinion, however, culinary education should start LONG before that.
Maybe not THIS early… but eh- worth a shot.
The BHB’s Christmas Music List (UPDATED FOR 2018!)
Good evening, friends and neighbors!
I had an excellent idea for something important to write about tonight, but then this whole freaking holiday thing happened….
So as a meanwhile, I figured I’d talk about music. While I myself am not Christian, I have been subjected to enough Christmas music in my life to have a small list of favorites that managed to somehow weasel their way into my grinchy, bitter little heart.
So here we go, in no particular order, with
The BHB’s Favorite Christmas Tunes
1. Bruce Springsteen- Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town
Now that I live out here in Portland, OR, I find myself enjoying stuff that reminds me of home a lot more often- and you can’t get much more Jersey than the Boss. All I need to hear is those opening notes and Bruce talking about snow on the beach and wind on the boardwalk, and I’ve gotta smile.“It’s all cold down on the beach… wind whipping down the boardwalk… Hey Dan! You know what time a’year it is?!”
Now that I live out here in Portland, OR, I find myself enjoying stuff that reminds me of home a lot more often- and you can’t get much more Jersey than the Boss. All I need to hear is those opening notes and Bruce talking about snow on the beach and wind on the boardwalk, and I’ve gotta smile.“It’s all cold down on the beach… wind whipping down the boardwalk… Hey Dan! You know what time a’year it is?!”
2. Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLaughlin- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/ We Three KingsI’ve been a big fan of BNL for quite a while, and the jazzy thumping upright bass is exactly what these old standards need.“Born a king on Bethlehem’s plain/ Gold I bring to crown him again…”
3. Dan Fogelberg- Same Old Lang Syne
This one is one of my sappy favorites. This is the time of year for looking back and reflecting on everything we were and everything we want to be. Old loves, old lives, old haunts… this is a song that brings it all up.”Met my old lover in a grocery store/ the snow was falling Christmas Eve….”
This one is one of my sappy favorites. This is the time of year for looking back and reflecting on everything we were and everything we want to be. Old loves, old lives, old haunts… this is a song that brings it all up.”Met my old lover in a grocery store/ the snow was falling Christmas Eve….”
4. The Royal Guardsmen- Snoopy vs. The Red Baron (Snoopy’s Christmas)
Not only a great song about everyone’s famous World War I Flying Ace, but a splendid reminder of the very real story of the Christmas Ceasefires, and that despite how bleak and dark things can seem, there’s always a light of hope.”Christmas bells, those Christmas bells, ring out through the land/ bringing peace to all the world and goodwill to man!”
Not only a great song about everyone’s famous World War I Flying Ace, but a splendid reminder of the very real story of the Christmas Ceasefires, and that despite how bleak and dark things can seem, there’s always a light of hope.”Christmas bells, those Christmas bells, ring out through the land/ bringing peace to all the world and goodwill to man!”
5. The Pogues feat. Kirsty MacColl- Fairytale of New York
A bit of an odd choice after the last song, but a good one. My love of Celtic rock/punk aside, this song is excellent as a reminder that Christmas isn’t always a good time everywhere, and not everyone has good memories about it. This song is a beautiful and sad bit of sobriety among all the saccharin sweetness of Christmas music.“An the boys of the NYPD choir was all signin’ “Galway Bay,” and the bells were ringin’ out fer Christmas Day…”
A bit of an odd choice after the last song, but a good one. My love of Celtic rock/punk aside, this song is excellent as a reminder that Christmas isn’t always a good time everywhere, and not everyone has good memories about it. This song is a beautiful and sad bit of sobriety among all the saccharin sweetness of Christmas music.“An the boys of the NYPD choir was all signin’ “Galway Bay,” and the bells were ringin’ out fer Christmas Day…”
6. The Goo Goo Dolls- Better Days
Another lovely hopeful song, reminding us that whatever last year held, we have a chance at midnight on January 1rst to make things better.“So take these words/ and sing out loud/ because everyone/ is forgiven now/ cause tonight’s the night the world begins again.”
Another lovely hopeful song, reminding us that whatever last year held, we have a chance at midnight on January 1rst to make things better.“So take these words/ and sing out loud/ because everyone/ is forgiven now/ cause tonight’s the night the world begins again.”
7. Wendy & Lisa- The Closing of the Year
Besides being an awesome part of the Robin Williams movie “Toys”, it’s another lovely bouncy song to round out the year with a lift.”If I cannot bring you comfort, then at least I bring you hope…”
Besides being an awesome part of the Robin Williams movie “Toys”, it’s another lovely bouncy song to round out the year with a lift.”If I cannot bring you comfort, then at least I bring you hope…”
8. Guster- Carol of the Meows
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…”
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…”
9. Jimmy Buffett- Boat Drinks
Not STRICTLY a Christmas song, but when bitter winter weather has you under house arrest and you get to the point where you’d gladly kill to see some sun and sea, here’s Jimmy’s solution:“20 Degrees and a hockey games on!/ Nobody cares, they are way too far gone/ Screamin’ “Boat Drinks! Something to keep us all warm!”
Not STRICTLY a Christmas song, but when bitter winter weather has you under house arrest and you get to the point where you’d gladly kill to see some sun and sea, here’s Jimmy’s solution:“20 Degrees and a hockey games on!/ Nobody cares, they are way too far gone/ Screamin’ “Boat Drinks! Something to keep us all warm!”
10. Gregorian- O Come All Ye Faithful
I may be Jewish, but this is one of my favorite hymns, especially when sung in Latin (Adeste Fideles.) Sung by the German group Gregorian in the form of a Gregorian chant, it’s absolutely exquisite.”Adeste fideles, laeti triumphantes…”Edit 2018!Since it’s been a while, and I’ve found some more Christmas songs that don’t make me ill, I figured I’d give them their proper credit.
I may be Jewish, but this is one of my favorite hymns, especially when sung in Latin (Adeste Fideles.) Sung by the German group Gregorian in the form of a Gregorian chant, it’s absolutely exquisite.”Adeste fideles, laeti triumphantes…”Edit 2018!Since it’s been a while, and I’ve found some more Christmas songs that don’t make me ill, I figured I’d give them their proper credit.
NOT “Christmas Shoes” though. Seriously, screw that song.
11. Little Drummer Boy, by For KING and COUNTRY
One of my ongoing gripes about praise music is how so much feels like it should be sung with joy and energy, but comes out sounding like a dirge. Growing up in the synagogue, it always felt weird to me that the happiest, most inspiring prayers were sung like we were doing chores.
So hearing a song like Little Drummer Boy getting belted out with some friggin rapid-fire percussion? Sign me the hell up.
12. Mary, Did You Know?, as sung by Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd
Religions and faith don’t spring up from nowhere. Neither do the stories around them.
Obviously, it’s a bit harder to see stories as… well, stories, when believing in them is a matter of faith and doctrine. I guess the reason this song really gets me is that it seems to talk to Mary as what she was at the time of Jesus’s birth, rather than what she became. Not as mother of a messiah… but a scared, poor, teenage mother far from home wrapped up in things she might not have understood, but accepted.
An Open Letter to Brand New Pastry Grads- From Someone Your Age
Good evening, friends and neighbors!
Ok, so I’ve been sucking a bit at updating (except Instagram- that’s annoyingly addictive.) Sorry about that, but part of the reason why? I finally got a job out here.
The job is at a restaurant and caterer, where I was hired to be a “relief baker.” Since their banquet season is in full swing, however, and since I have pretty decent kitchen skills OUTSIDE of baking as well, my job has more or less been catering prep and cooking. All in all, not a bad gig.
The experience of having a non-baking job for the first time in a long time got me thinking. About now, many culinary schools are ending their winter semesters, and some of my colleagues may be graduating, throwing themselves and their fates into the industry.
The Hunting of the Job: An Agony in 30 Fits
When I was a kid, a “job” was whatever my chores were- usually things to be bartered, swapped, argued over with, and foisted of on me and my sisters. “Work” was the thing that Dad did for most of every day- or a nebulous and vile entity that tended to call him at irritating hours.
“I have to go to work, Matt- school is YOUR work. Make sure it gets done.”
“I have to go to work, Matt- school is YOUR work. Make sure it gets done.”
“Yes, Dad….”
Right now, I am in the longest stretch I have ever gone without work, and I would give almost anything to bitch about a case of the Mondays again.
The last time I was jobless, the Black Hat Bakery was born, based on what I then called “The MacGuyver Priniciple.”
The MacGuyver Principle– “If you need something, and you don’t have it, can’t find it, or get it, get started making it.”
This tied in nicely with another cozy saying:
“If Necessity is the mother of Invention, Desperation is the mafioso godfather.”
There are any number of websites and articles out there that will give you tips on job hunting- interviews, your resume, negotiating a salary, and so on. I have been burning through them in my maddening search for employment, and trying every shred of advice people have offered me.
In the end, the decision of whether or not someone hires you is NOT in your control. All you can do is present yourself in such a way that they MIGHT want to.
Here, so far, are what I have learned in going to 6 interviews, 4 working interviews, and firing off an average of 8 applications a week since I have arrived in Portland.
So You REALLY Want A Job In Portland…
1. Don’t be like everyone else- including not being like everyone else.
One of the first pieces of advice I got on coming to Portland was to make myself memorable to interviewers- dressing uniquely, bringing samples of work, etc. This works great… unless everyone else is dressing weird and being crazy too. Eventually, I realized- this was Portland. I was from NEW JERSEY. So I put on my best suit, carefully picked out a tie, carried 3 copies of my resume to each interview in a briefcase, and looked every interviewer in the eye with a smile and firm handshake.
You can be as weird as you want- and sometimes the weirdest thing you can be is a professional.
One of the first pieces of advice I got on coming to Portland was to make myself memorable to interviewers- dressing uniquely, bringing samples of work, etc. This works great… unless everyone else is dressing weird and being crazy too. Eventually, I realized- this was Portland. I was from NEW JERSEY. So I put on my best suit, carefully picked out a tie, carried 3 copies of my resume to each interview in a briefcase, and looked every interviewer in the eye with a smile and firm handshake.
You can be as weird as you want- and sometimes the weirdest thing you can be is a professional.
Granted, a guy from Jersey showing up in a suit can have mixed messages…
2. Respect time- theirs, AND yours.
When I worked at a Scout camp in Barnegat, I was taught a simple rule about respecting time- “If you are 15 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late. If you are late, you’re screwed.”
Hiring someone new is extremely costly- not just in time spent training, but in time spent interviewing and getting back to candidates that could be used more productively. Always respect your interviewers time, and come early.
By the same token, do not devalue YOUR time. If you want to be treated like a professional, BE one. Apparently, out here in Portland, it is common for employers to interview people and simply never get back in contact with them if they don’t wish to hire them. Anyone who has been on a job hunt knows that a job seeker is applying to many places at once, and crucial decisions may hinge on feedback from employers. Do not tolerate people that disrespect you or your time.
When I worked at a Scout camp in Barnegat, I was taught a simple rule about respecting time- “If you are 15 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late. If you are late, you’re screwed.”
Hiring someone new is extremely costly- not just in time spent training, but in time spent interviewing and getting back to candidates that could be used more productively. Always respect your interviewers time, and come early.
By the same token, do not devalue YOUR time. If you want to be treated like a professional, BE one. Apparently, out here in Portland, it is common for employers to interview people and simply never get back in contact with them if they don’t wish to hire them. Anyone who has been on a job hunt knows that a job seeker is applying to many places at once, and crucial decisions may hinge on feedback from employers. Do not tolerate people that disrespect you or your time.
Seriously, it’s just common friggin’ decency…
3. Job hunting IS a job.
Yes, the pay sucks, but make no mistake about it. I am firing off resumes to jobs daily. I am searching my email for replies, filling my schedule around interviews and stages, and baking regularly to keep my skills up. That is DEFINTELY work. Don’t get down on yourself- if you’re trying to find work, you’re not a bum. You’re WORKING.
If you figure out how to remind yourself of this at all times, tell me how. My girlfriend will thank you.
Yes, the pay sucks, but make no mistake about it. I am firing off resumes to jobs daily. I am searching my email for replies, filling my schedule around interviews and stages, and baking regularly to keep my skills up. That is DEFINTELY work. Don’t get down on yourself- if you’re trying to find work, you’re not a bum. You’re WORKING.
If you figure out how to remind yourself of this at all times, tell me how. My girlfriend will thank you.
4. Take time off now and again.
Like every job, sometimes you need time off. As my friend Karen said, “Life is a balance between making it happen and letting it happen.” Many aspects of this process are not in your control. Remember to take some time to NOT think about it. Read books that have been sitting on your shelf for ages. Watch movies you’ve been putting off forever because you had to be up in the morning. Take up new hobbies or challenges that working kept you away from before. Don’t be a slacker, but don’t be a workaholic either.
One of the best things you can do is learn new skills or refine old ones- you never know what a future employer might find useful.
Like every job, sometimes you need time off. As my friend Karen said, “Life is a balance between making it happen and letting it happen.” Many aspects of this process are not in your control. Remember to take some time to NOT think about it. Read books that have been sitting on your shelf for ages. Watch movies you’ve been putting off forever because you had to be up in the morning. Take up new hobbies or challenges that working kept you away from before. Don’t be a slacker, but don’t be a workaholic either.
One of the best things you can do is learn new skills or refine old ones- you never know what a future employer might find useful.
Yeah, THIS ain’t happening once I get 4 AM shifts again…
5. Reach Out To EVERYONE.
Don’t shy away from talking to people or introducing yourself to anyone. You never know who might know somebody who knows somebody who might need someone like you. Just one personal connection can carry more weight with an employer than any CV you’d care to write.
Take advantage of any groups or connections you might have- religious groups, civic organizations, social clubs, whatever. The more eyes and ears you have looking out for you in the job market, the better- even more so if one of them can slip your resume to the top of the pile on someone’s desk.
Don’t shy away from talking to people or introducing yourself to anyone. You never know who might know somebody who knows somebody who might need someone like you. Just one personal connection can carry more weight with an employer than any CV you’d care to write.
Take advantage of any groups or connections you might have- religious groups, civic organizations, social clubs, whatever. The more eyes and ears you have looking out for you in the job market, the better- even more so if one of them can slip your resume to the top of the pile on someone’s desk.
That dude you met at the coffee shop with the pizza-baking brother? CALL HIM.
Good luck to all you job-seekers out there. I’ll advise you all of my progress as well- truly I am a stranger in a strange land, but I’m slowly grokking the area.
Stay Classy,
P.S.- Bonus points to everyone that got that last bit.
The Black Hat Baker 