Bannocks- For When You’ve Got To Hit The Trail Hard

April 7, 2016March 18, 2019 / The Black Hat Baker / 1 Comment

As she was running out the door for work Monday morning, Emily made a request:

“Hun, think you could make some bannocks that I can grab for breakfast? No raisins or anything- just plain is fine.”

“Yes, dear.”

As my father would say, “Those two words are the secret to a happy marriage.”

Jokes aside, I didn’t mind. Bannocks are one of my staple recipes for a reason. They are a perfect blend of oatmeal cookie and biscuit that can be grabbed quickly, keep for a long time, and are an ideal breakfast with a quick schmeer of butter or jam.

If you don’t know what “schmeer” is, you need to be roughly 15% more Jewish.

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To Build A Better Baker: Reps, Rolling Pins, and Finding A Reason

March 31, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Good evening, friends and neighbors!
Ostensibly, this is a baking and food blog. I am, after all, a baker and culinary professional. I am used to, and in fact EXPECT to, get a lot of questions.
Most of them, however, are about fitness and weight loss- particularly mine.
“How do you keep so slim while working in a bakery? I’d be as big as a house!” “How can you stand to be around all that butter and sugar?”

Or, worst of all,

“What diet are you on/pill are you taking to keep so trim?!”

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Because It Isn’t All Sunshine and Rainbows

March 21, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / 2 Comments

Good evening, friends and neighbors.You know it’s really easy to get lost?

At the moment, I’m staring out the window of (surprise surprise) a bar, looking out into the drizzling night of Portland. I just watched my waiter take- and I’m not kidding- a full 45 seconds to pour my beer into a glass.

The week was a trying one, and I do love my Thursday nights. I found a spiritual successor, if not psuedo-doppelgänger, to one of my favorite sit-down-and-blog pubs, but was politely hurried out as the dinner crowd came in. I completely get it- they couldn’t really hold a two-top for some writer shmuck that wasn’t expecting to drink anymore. I don’t bear them any grudge and will likely be back soon.

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Wherever You Go…

February 25, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Good evening, friends and neighbors!

On my current schedule, Thursdays are my first day off of the week. While there is plenty to be done around the house- cleaning, planning, organizing, errands, and so on- Thursdays are MY day. While wandering the city, I learned of the existence of the Oregon Jewish Museum and decided to mosey down and check it out- get a little bit of my family’s history and culture in this strange new land.

Which is why I am currently sitting in Lan Su- Portland’s Chinese Garden in the heart of its Chinatown.

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I’m A Morning Person

February 21, 2016March 29, 2020 / The Black Hat Baker / Leave a comment

Good afternoon, friends and neighbors!

I love bakers hours.

“Well f**k you!”

No seriously, I do. People tend to refer to “bakers hours” as a curse or a lamentation, but I really like them. Granted, right now my hours are 6am to 2pm at my current gig, which more or less puts me on the night shift of the baking world, but they are still early enough to make a lot of non-bakers cringe.